November 1, 2011
I am often asked this question: "Why is it so important to love yourself?"
I think that the first Guide lecture that absolutely mesmerized me was the FEAR OF LOVING. I teach a curriculum called a Master Class In Love. I realized I had to include a module about the FEAR of loving. This fear creates the unconscious NO! that keeps our hearts closed to our selves and to each other. closed.
What I have learned in this lifetime is that LOVE and FEAR cannot occupy the same space. Where fear exists there is a defensive behavior that is created from habit and compulsion. There is an addiction to thoughts (images) and behavior that do not serve love.
"It is not you who are unlovable, but the means with which you strive to obtain love"
What I have come to experience for myself is that all struggle is a habit and all habit is rooted in fear. It is this fear that is attached to the thoughts of our own "not enough"-ness that causes our pain. All pain is caused by self denial, and believing in the fear that we are not GOD enough is the final addiction. We are addicted to this fear and our behavior is our drug of choice.
All obsessive behavior keeps us in prison and FEAR is the warden.
To explore fear, to know its whispers, to know its promises is the key to moving into self loving.
We must see and accept the parts of ourselves that we have disinherited and altered beyond recognition.
It is the message of fear - "we are not acceptable or lovable the way we are" - that paralyzes us. It is the denial of aspects of ourselves that causes us such suffering.
That is why we must know and embrace the parts of our humanness that we have said NO! to. It is these traits that we have disguised, masked, idealized and refused to accept that create the defensive and sometimes cruel behavior that eventually recreates the experiences of our greatest fear....that we are indeed unlovable.
Step by step, breath by breath, we must explore what we judge as our flaws, our darkness, or as Emmanuel terms it...our forgetting.
As we turn the light on to what we judge to be our darkness, the shadows will begin to lift.
It is in this, the accepting of all parts of self that is the first step out of our self-imposed prison and into freedom.
Gently, and with great tenderness on your part, I will lead you into a simple process of how to fall in love with yourself......
Begin this self inquiry. Take the time to light a candle, create a quiet space, and begin to write your answers. If you wish music I suggest the Adagio by Antonini.
Have you told a simple falsehood today? To whom? Why do you believe your truth is not good enough? What trait in you were you judging?
Have you denied your own intuition and truth in the last few days? Give an example.
Have you said YES! when you have wanted to say NO! Who do you blame for this? What thought are you the victim of?
Have you not done something you wanted to do today, or this past week because you judged it unimportant or trivial? Or simply is it because you believe that if you take care of yourself, you are responsible for someone else's pain?
Have you made your truth unacceptable, and your wants and needs second to another's?
After you have done this searching inventory, please begin to gently. breathe. Inspiring yourself. Allow yourself to be totally present in your breath. Breathing in...allowing the moment to be as it is......breathing out allowing the moment to be as it is.... without judgment... In spirit, out spirit. In love ...out love, nothing to do, no way to be..just present in the breath.
The final question: Are you willing to pledge allegiance to your heart?
In this moment of YES! is the union of self.
This Thanksgiving please open your heart to yourself, your family your friends and to life. Be grateful for this moment of now. It is all there is.
In this YES! I wish you a loving holiday.
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