June 1, 2012
I am sitting here and my mind is racing with so many thoughts, so many teachings, and so much gratitude.
This past weekend, I celebrated my 79th birthday. It was sweet and filled with love and appreciation. Adriano placed 80 candles on my cake. Can you imagine the light! No matter how hard I tried I could not blow out the light.
I think this is a wonderful metaphor for this present moment for even when I try, or when I am in my NO! or fear, I no longer forget that I am surrounded by light, and that I am a chalice for this light. Once again the clarity of the thought:
I f I am not in peace, than I have chosen a thought that is in conflict with G-d's will. Slowly, ever so slowly, as if awakening from a dream.....I am remembering who I am, and the light of my own self-loving.
As a gift, I received a scroll which contains the True Meaning of Life by the Dalai Lama. It said that we are only visitors on this planet and that we are only here for ninety or one hundred years. In this time, we must contribute to other people's happiness.
It is such a great reminder.
Now I hear another teaching: Thich Nhat Hanh's Gatha on Impermanence
"The day is now ended.
My life is shorter.
Now I look carefully.
What have I done? ( in this life)
Let me be diligent,
Let me live deeply
Free from a belief in my afflictions,
And from my insistence in my suffering.
May I be aware of this impermanence
So that life does not
Drift away without meaning".
These thoughts are another birthday gift. Am I willing to remember who I am moment to moment or do I still want to insist on my history? Do I want my life to be meaningful?
I see that this process insists on life being, you being, I being exactly who we are moment to moment, and that depends on accepting and embracing who we are in the present moment without judgment.
"Mercy is the absence of judgment."
Another thought, another question? Am I willing to be my own merciful mother? And now in the beginning of this next phase in my life, am I willing to find my own self loving underneath the grief and hurt?
This birthday was truly a divine experience with the Wise men and women bringing me their gifts.
Now Is The Time
My dear, please tell me why do you still
Throw sticks at your heart and G-d?
What is it in that sweet voice inside
That incites you to fear?
Now is the time for the world to know
That every thought and action is sacred.
This is the time
For you to deeply compute the impossibility
That there is anything
Now is the season to know
That everything you do (and are)
I am standing in front of a new door, in new awareness, knowing that if I keep knocking, I know that I will learn to contain myself, to live in the moment, grounded in reality and free to fully open my heart.
My birthday wish is that you join me here.
In gratitude, and humility I thank you all for reminding me and helping me to remember who I am.