I actually feel as if I have traveled galaxies this month, and have experienced many deep and profound changes. Then in a flash, I can be back where I have started. I am in my forgetting, in my habitual reaction which is powered by the voice of fear, and driven by my ego.
Most of the time, I feel light and expanded. Most of the times, I feel so still and calm.....and then.....
It is this "THEN".... this dropping into the forgetting that is changing. I can actually choose not to go into my habit. I can stop and reset my response. My fundamental reaction is changing. Breath by breath, I take the hand of fear, and I do not allow it to lead me. Step by step, I question each experience, and ask:
Is what I am feeling true?
What thought is the feeling based on that no longer serves me?
Can anyone be responsible for my hurt feelings?
What have I forgotten that I need to remember?
Where is my love?
This inquiry is simple, and very helpful. It can be part of your daily review when you go into an emotional reaction.
I want to thank one of my newest students, Mandy F. from Minnesota, who wrote to me:
"It is the not knowing that we are here to experience. We are here to discover and to allow for the unfolding of each moment, to embrace it, not to fear it. Fear does not exist in any moment until you invite it in."
I thought I knew this, and yet, I have also learned that knowledge is different than wisdom. Wisdom is the experiencing of the deepest knowing. Emmanuel would say: We are not the victims of our fears....we are the creators of our fears. "
And yet....and yet.....there is still that place in me that fluctuates between being totally fulfilled and then feeling
" insistently needy."
This month, I practiced the allowing of " all there is," and the accepting of "what is" to be my spiritual practice. In a flash, I experienced such power, and such a feeling of peace.
Breathing in....I embrace it all....
Breathing out...I release it all......
Nothing to do, no way to be. I found myself letting go of all judgments and was being present in the breath, and suddenly I started to smile....and that smile grew into " out loud laughter."
All came back to me....every book I have ever read, every teacher I have ever met, every intensive, or retreat I have ever taken have said the same thing with different words. There is a Universal language for transcendence.
We are created in G-d's image. We are the Son / Daughter of G-d.
Any belief other than this is the illusion that created the belief in separation and the resultant suffering.
I am safe. The love of G-d, the light of G-d the creativity of G-d is within me.
And here dearest friend is my question: Why do I/ you still choose suffering rather than the Kingdom of Heaven?
I sense a heightening awareness as each of us are coming into these moments of discovery, and that the golden chain of remembering is becoming less tarnished and more visible.
As we come into this Holy time (Easter and Passover) will you take the time to sit with these thoughts, and write your answers.
G-d manifests through you and you are the manifested channel for His love.
Are you willing to be the recipient of His love?
Are you willing to let go of the past, of your blame, your anger and your habitual emotional reaction?
Are you willing to walk into the Oneness, and see everyone through the eyes of Love?
Are you willing to take yourself off the cross, and give up the belief that you are indeed separate and that G-d has abandoned you?
Are you willing to embrace yourself with your imperfections?
I invite you to sit now and enter into the silence that the breath creates. No thoughts....no inquiry...just the breath..... inspiring spirit....exhaling peace....following the calm.... inhaling the love.... letting go of the voice of the ego.... letting go of the chattering mind.... letting go.... listening to the silence.
Only in the still point can you hear G-d's voice.
When you are ready, write yourself a love letter from G-d.
In great gratitude, I wish you love and health these holidays.
I am available for private sessions, and retreats.
Please call or email if you would like to start a conversation.Access my website to read all of the love letters.