After last month's "Love Letter," I have been thinking about my simplistic thought:
CHANGE YOUR THINKING: CHANGE YOUR EXPERIENCE.
What does this truly mean? How do we take this action?1. We have to stop...breathe..and wait. .. and not take the bait.
(For most of us this has become our practice.)
2. We are addicted to our fear....after naming our fear, breathing into our fear...facing our fear.. naming it as our addiction. What next?
3. We are addicted to and believe in the voice of fear: We are helpless. we believe in our impotency...we are powerless to the tyranny of our fear. (I recommend reading the 12 Step Book...especially the First and Fifth Step)
I have been meditating, and praying and asking for G-d's help to show me clearly what is this very vicious and therefore addictive circle? (read Pathwork Lecture 50: The Vicious)
It has became quite clear to me: Our initial wounding caused us to defend against our feelings. The fear that was created in this wounding has allowed us to create a defensive wall, an Idealized Self Image to avoid feeling, and left us with our emotional reactions. In order to get what we wanted, to get the love that our wounded self required that we altered ourselves out of recognition. This Idealized Self became our identity, our drug of choice.
If I let go of the images, if I allowed myself to feel beneath the fear that these violent circumstances created: Who would I be?
For years I held my experience, my wounding sacrosanct...believing that my pain was worst than yours. In this judgment, I have held my wounding as a badge of "suffering". This thinking allowed me to feel separate and special.
To behave in a different way and in order to have a different experience, the thought I would have to change is simple:
I can honor my wounding without building a monument to it.
When I accept this thought, I can then honor your experience and together we move into the Oneness.
We will turn the violence (of the wounding) into the Divine Quality of its original source...Love
Now I am accepting that, for me, my entire life has been searching, studying and longing to experience what love is.
We must consciously lift out of our awareness our habitual behavior that (fear /ego insists upon) causes the alarm bells to ring, and to choose to go beyond the belief in this wounding. We must choose not to engage in our emotional reaction. We must not pick up the addictive drug of anger, blame, shame and the feeling of powerlessness. Our wounding circumstances were our Soul's choice for this incarnation. We chose the circumstances in order to remember our light, We have chosen this life, not to be victims of our beliefs, but to bring love where love is not, especially in ourselves.
We are here to heal the misconception of separateness and to enter the oneness while we are still in our physical bodies
I offer you these thoughts.
"Love depends on the willingness of each person to be vulnerable and love deepens that vulnerability. It works because each person exposes their nakedness and the other rushes to meet it."
-- David Brooks The Road to Character
"You will be loved the day when you will be able to show your weakness without the person using it to assert his strength."
-- Cesar Pavese
I have come to the profound thought, (not yet the master of my choices and actions) that when I recognize and accept that there is no separation between us, that we are ONE.. then and only then can I ask the question and have the answer:
"Do I Love you?" My answer would be: "I am you."
To reach this realm of beingness, of openness is for me the ultimate happiness.
Help me to not fall asleep to all the miracles around me.
Help me to see the wonder and beauty in each Soul I meet.
Help me to release my attachment to my wounding
and to the fear it has created in me.
Help me to choose Love again and again.
Please listen to the song by Kristin Chenoweth;
I am available for individual and group intensives
Master Class in Love Retreats
Beyond Words... Inspired by G-d (BRETH trainings)
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