January 2018

Dear One,
 
I am amazed as I enter into this New Year, 2018.  My eyes appear to be wide open, and so is my heart.
I have experienced so much this year,  and as I am surfacing from the whirlpool of my emotions, I am feeling such gratitude.

In November, I held a retreat in Doral, Florida. 
It was a rich and special experience for me.
As an exercise, we began to rewrite the dictionary.
One of the first words that came up was Spirituality.

I then had to dive into understanding words like acceptance,  forgiveness, enlightenment, awakening  and oneness. (all found under the search of defining the word Love and Spirituality)

I saw a quote by Marianne Williamson: "To love is to go beyond fear." ...and I matched it with my experience and my meaning of love.

In order to love we must define our fear.  We must penetrate the wall of addiction that we hide behind.
We must see the behavior that fear has created in its illusion that it can
"KEEP US SAFE and FREE."
Actually what follows is that from our fear filled thoughts and our emotionally reactive  behavior we create what we are most afraid of:
"LOSS."
Indeed! Our  belief in our fear is what causes us to sabotage ourselves and to create what we are most afraid of.

In our fear, we create an idealized self image... a mask if you will, that we have adopted to get us what we want without exposing what we judge in ourselves.  (then transfer/project onto others.)
We betray ourselves by denying and not accepting all of who we already are.
We must own and take responsibility for our feelings.  We must intentionally and consciously bring our self denial out of hiding.  It is the only way we can create an INTIMATE and AUTHENTIC relationship. (This necessitates embracing our dragon)


This is my question:  How can we trust another when we know that we are untrustworthy and therefore cannot be trusted?
How can we surrender to loving...when we judge ourselves as unlovable?  (because of our hidden secrets)

Please take some time to think and then write about this. 
Where have I been untrustworthy?
Where have I been  dishonest and inauthentic?
With whom do I have to make amends  (Including yourself for your own betrayal.)

Marianne says: "The key to intimacy is the commitment to honesty."  
I believe when we commit to accepting all of ourself, without shame, without blame, we are taking back
"SELF RESPONSIBILITY for OUR LIVES."

This is the first of the 12 Steps: "My life has become unmanageable because of fear."  (Replacing the use of Alcohol)
Fear is the final addiction on this planet beyond the duality... beyond the illusion. 
This fear has fostered  one to become inauthentic and dishonest... which then supports the belief in one's not "Gd" enough.
Fear is the dragon that guards the gates of our hearts.

This is a vicious circle. (Pathwork: Lecture 50)

What is it to be spiritual then?  To be honest... to embrace your behavior... to take responsibility for where you have denied the Gd in you... to be authentic... to be the author of your life's manifestations.  Finally,
to Accept that life is pain and joy...
but only by going through the pain can we reach the joy.

This is where we begin again... to remember why we incarnated, and why we chose this life.  It is to bring Heaven to Earth and to act from the Divine Spirit within.

Are you ready? We took birth to become more perfect expressions of Gd.  Facing our imperfections, our faults, and what we believe is our darkness is part of our process, that indeed is necessary for our growth.

Dear Gd,
Help me to remember  that my mind and my will be a conduit for love.
I ask that you support me in  removing my attachment to anything that is not mine.
Today I pray that my "Being" become an instrument for your love.

I wish you a year filled with self love and self acceptance.
I wish you Grace and for you to remember who you are, an Angel living a human experience.
Barbara

Please Listen To The Song:
Rhema Marvanne - Just As I Am