This has been a glorious month for me... many ups and some downs, and yet I am sitting here breathing it all in with gratitude.
Fall is in the air.  For me, this is a reminder that this year has begun to come to a close.
One chapter is ending, and another soon to begin.
My committed practice was to watch my Emotional Reactions and then to gratefully become aware that my reactions were no longer based in truth, and I no longer needed to react.
My teacher, Emmanuel, and I quote him : Fall in love with yourself and then this action becomes the primary tool of self transformation.
What does this mean?
It means we must accept and embrace all parts of ourselves...we must see our fear as our teacher and embrace it gently.
We must bring our fear to the surface so that we can explore what is present in the moment.
We must ask "what is"  the truth so that we can see the addictive behavior that our fear has created.
Emmanuel  teaches that Fear is the final addiction on this planet.
The 12 Step Program has a slogan (it makes me smile) "When you are hysterical you are historical."
We react to to history, and this reaction  is habitually fired by false beliefs about our selves...
Check your body.  All E.R.s are stored in the body.  Your ego/fear demands that you live your life contracted and hold rigidly against opening your heart.
Your life force does not flow... there is a warrior standing guard in front of your heart holding against loss.
When we are in response we are calm, tranquil and centered, but when we are in history our body tells us so.
All fear is about loss, a future expectation appearing real.
If we are afraid of loss we cannot love.  If we live our lives fearing to love then we cannot fulfill our life's purpose.

Do you remember the story of Aladdin and his magic lamp?
He frees the Genie from his lamp. Our work is similar.  We too are freeing our Spirit to love.
This is the purpose for our incarnation, to love freely without conditions.

It is no accident that the highest Jewish holiday was celebrated this past month.
I want to share this prayer:  It is the Mourner's Kaddish

Birth is a beginning, and death a destination, and life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity and youth to age:
From innocence to awareness and ignorance to knowing;
From foolishness to discretion... and then perhaps to wisdom;
From weakness to strength or strength to weakness, And often, back again;
From health to sickness and back we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude, (I think gratitude comes first)
From pain to compassion, and grief to understanding --
                                  From fear to faith:
From defeat to defeat to defeat-
Until looking backward or ahead,
We see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey , stage by stage,
                                  A sacred pilgrimage,
Birth is a beginning
And death a destination
And life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage --
                                  To life everlasting.

It takes great courage to love what you might lose,
It is a fearful thought to love what death can touch and take away from you.
If you are not willing to undertake this courageous action to open your heart you will not enter fully and joyously into life.

This is my prayer.

Dear G-d,
Help me to know that I am created from Your breath,
and to know that I am here to be a "vessel" for your light and love.
Help me to love more deeply as I have never loved before.
Free me so that I may fully open my heart and live an unlimited life.
Please remind me of whom I am.
 
In gratitude,
Barbara Azzara (aka Glabman-Cohen)