Dear One, 


Where I am today having waded through, studied and having placed my emphasis on trying to "understand" for the last 38 years, I now know that I, Barbara, can not reach the light through my endless processing and analyzing of my history and by believing in  the "darkness" that I have been taught was part of me..

I  resonate with Stewert Emory's sentence to me almost 40 years ago:

                   "Understanding is the booby prize of life."
The conclusion I have come to is that change takes place only when you choose to TAKE THE ACTION TO CHANGE.  It is a step by step process. I will not argue this. It is a breath by breath..moment to moment  decision to choose love and to keep choosing love.
This decision is made by the mind in service of the heart, and it has to be made in every moment.

Emmanuel told me:

       "Remember have come to kiss the darkness with your love, (THIS IS A CHOICE) and by so touching it with tenderness you allow it to become its true nature."

What is your true nature?  What is your essence? What is your source? Do you believe that you are your "lower self" ?  Do you believe that you have free will?  
If you are willing. I suggest that you write your answers to these quesitons. It is a powerful experience to see the written words that empower your behavior.

 Paul Ferrini writes:
        "Both Angel and Devil live in your embrace and move with you in your journey towards self forgiveness."

I am asking:  What did you ever do that is so terrible that you cannot forgive and accept yourself  as you are?  What do you blame yourself for?  What do you feel guilty about?  What keeps you "Stuck"?   Where have you chosen not to love yourself and to get lost in your demand that another give you what you are unwilling to give yoursef?

 Your soul has planned your life meticulously (Pathwork Lecture 34). Each crisis is meant to be a teaching.  Each conflict and each person whom you believe has caused you pain is meant to be a teacher for you.  If you CHOOSE to open your heart and remember who you are in this NOW .  You may also choose to reincarnate in this same lifetime (Pathwork Lecture 216). You will then become the vehicle/the channel for bringing love not only to yourself but to everyone you meet. 

Would you please sit quietly...light a candle.  Breathe into the silence..... 

           Allow yourself to remember....what was your reason for incarnating in this lifetime?  
           Listen to you inner voice.
           What is your desire?
           Allow yourself to feel the energy of this longing moving through you.  It is the life stream.
           Follow the sensations in your body...breath into them
           Go slowly here......
           Feel yourself opening to the pulsation of life........
           BREATHE IT ALL.

Perhaps your would like to dance it....  put  music on and let your body be imprinted with this YES!  Maybe you would like to write, or to draw....or do nothing...Listen to yourself and accept what it is you want to do.  Say  this MANTRA out loud.

                   "What is it that I want to do in this moment?
                     I Allow myself to follow the longing of my heart."

I am sitting in this moment breathing in all the spiritual teachings
They all say the same..... only the verbiage is different.

I definitely want to invent what I shall call FEAR PLUGS
I am tired of falling victim to the whispers of fear...the warnings, the cataclysmic promises that take me out of the moment.   I am not the victim of my fear, I am the creator of my fear.   
FEAR is my habit, my addiction..  
FEAR PLUGS.... .what a great idea!!!!  My choice is not to hear the voice of fear. Please join me...and put your FEAR PLUGS  in.

My life  circumstances have not changed since my June Love Letter.  My intent has become conscious.

              Dear G-d,
              Help me not to be a victim of my fear.
              Help me to experience the miracle of Your love,
                       and to extend it to ALL.
              May I see Your truth in everything.

Breathe with me into the YES!  We are one cosmic breath breathing into the longing....breathing into the pleasure.... breathing into the ONENESS.   Listen!   Do you hear the angel voices singing:  ALL THERE IS IS LOVE.
Thank you for BE ing with me.
Adriano and Barbara

If you would like to have a conversation please call me @ 530.432.3887
We are not in this life by accident....choose whom you walk with.  It is a Holy experience.