am coming to the end of a year that has been filled for me with many
excitng, many heart challenging and definitely many heart opening
How quickly 2015 has gone.
I would like to take this moment to stop and to breathe and to view this past year. This is my spiritual practice... asking the following questions (I invite you to do the same):
What have been your challenges?
What and who has broken your heart?
Where have you come to your edge?
Where have you yearned to surrender?
When have you broken your own heart by choosing fear?
And dear friends, when have you chosen love?
Love Letter in November was reviewing the last forty years... and I
included a picture of myself in my mid-forties and also of me now.
received the following response, with the woman's permission I share it
with you. "L." is a woman I met in Brazil in March. We
write often and have one session a month which needs translating
(thanks to Angela, my translator).
Here is the letter, written in English, from this amazing woman.
this month your love letter is special. Or better, more special. The
journey in yours forty years is amazing. You invite us to deep
meditation about our lives, our choices,our fears and misery of the now
or in the past. About what did you say, I understanding that the future
is the now. That what I choose now will my future, what I believe and
think now is my life.
I ask you: "And my past Barbara?" "What did you tell me about my
misery? And I hear you say me, I hear you repeat for me, again and
again: " Please L., hear me... Your past already gone! Follow me, come
on to the love, free yourself from fear, free yourself from the chains
of your past. Look at me, look at my photograph... see how we have
changed, see how we can do new choices, change our lives, choice our
paths. I am show to you my face and my soul and how are so beautiful
it. Before and now. See how I live in now and as honor my past.
Take this gift". And you did one greatest invitation. The greatest of
all until today. In your Love Letter you say: " Stop now. Try accept
the mountains, try accept that God is love and He didn't wrong. Try
stop want move mountains. Come back to now, come live the now".
after the read your letter many times and after the last wonderful
session... I realized that you makes one hard and secret work within
when in the future my face change again, no one dear Barbara, no one
will know what did you done in me. What you sewed inside me. The people
will see how my face and my body changed but not what you embroidered
inside me. Neither do I my dear. I just can feeling into my heart. So
sometimes hurt me, sometimes the needle sting me when you are
embroidering with your thread of love.
you sew my pieces. It is Divine. Yes my dear, your work, your
journey Is Divine. In these moments I understand and I can see when
someone choose love. What means choose love.
the 24th of November I will do 39 years old. So I wondered how I can
show my photo today. Over these 39 years. Of course I have curious
about what will possible for me.
But I wanted photo about what is happening now. An image of before and now. As you did.
share with you my photograph.... In the high left when I was children
and in the high right I today. That everyone can see. But not in
below. In below left are my smithereens, my pain, my fear, my
misery. And below right you sewing me. You embroidering my soul.
You trying sew within, trying make me remember who I am who I was before break my heart.
I Love You.
with her permission, I shared the letter with some students that I am
training and supervising. I include (also with her permission)
M.'s response to L.'s letter.
is taking time to process your letter as I am touching in myself this
tender place. When I look into the eyes of that sweet darling little
girl, you L., my heart breaks into pieces....a child with all that lies
before her, vulnerable, innocent, trusting, soft & joyful. I see
the same quality in the eyes of my son, he is so very present and I am
a witness, a recipient of this love. I am beginning to know that this
was once me too........this was once all of us. And then we live
our life's creation, we step deeper into illusion and fear's insistence
that we are not safe. I saw myself as a victim, powerless and enraged.
Giving myself away, betraying my own heart. Not knowing that I
could.....and perhaps not even wanting to assume responsibility for my
circumstances, my miracle that 'catapulted me into my journey of self
discovery'. So, when I look at your picture, I see myself, a sweet
darling little girl now knowing what lay ahead, knowing that my heart
would break.........I weep for her.
then, L., there is who you are in this moment, a beautiful woman who is
ready to let go of her suffering, who is ready to say yes to her heart,
ready to choose love. It sparks another 'ember of remembering' in my
own heart. This photo of you is so powerful. I am overwhelmed. And for
all this I say, "Thank you".
When I look at the illustration of the woman sewing the quilt; I see you sewing the quilt. You have done brilliant work.
Thank you, L., for your courage and for your love.
are two women who have been terribly wounded by the events in their
young lives...and in a very short time of workinig with the lectures
and Emmanuel's teachings they have identified with their soul's
longing. They have commited themselves to finding the key in the
present moment and are reclaiming the knowledge of their hearts.
They have honored their woundings, but they have not built a monument to them.
To them and to all of you, I wish you a year filled with remembering the light within.
May the year 2016 bring peace to each of you, so that you may be the
peace. It is time.
I offer you this poem with music,
In gratitude for the miracles that loving oneself creates.
May grace be your daily bread.
Happy New Year,