April
2017
Dear
One,
I am sitting here with my open heart. I am in a state
of grace.
I have chosen to take all of my life's conflicts and
have turned them, or they have turned me, into a grateful and
compassionate being.
Adriano "left his body" ten months ago. I went through
every feeling and emotion. I did not miss one lesson that a loss of a
partner and "being alone" provides.
At the beginning, without my partner, I fell into my emotional reaction.
I was incompetent. I had (in my life) never prepared
the taxes, and I never took care of insurance policies, etc. How was I
going to do it now?
My opposite defense of feeling alone and helpless is to become "Mighty
Woman... I can do it and I will never let anyone feel sorry for me." I
will not ask for help.
Before I realized what had happened, or how it
happened...I had a DREAM TEAM and they came and opened up the
door of my heart.
I had indeed surrendered my will to G-d's will.
I had only known four of my DREAM TEAM before Adriano
transited this earth plane.
AND NOW...
My lilacs are blooming because one of the DREAM TEAM
groomed the lilac tree.
I can get up and down my stairs and into the bath tub
because another installed banisters on the steps and grip bars in the
tub.
They have taken me to the doctors.
They have
invited me to sleep in their home when I had surgery.
They have
bought me salmon fillets and home made delicious soup.
They have
brought me my mail and put out my garbage bins.
They have
massaged me and held me lightly and allowed me to cry.
They shared
with me their own pain.
They have
made me laugh.
And the
biggest gift:
They are teaching me
to receive.
For now, I
will stay in Penn Valley. I miss my family. They too have
compassionately supported me, and yet in this present moment, I am not
ready to give up the house that "Adriano built."
I have been
paying attention, non-judgmentally. I am not attached to the past or
the future and this discipline allows me to be free to live in the
moment.
Eating
breakfast this morning, I was looking out the window and marveling at
the exquisite view when I felt the presence of Adriano, my former late
husbands, Shelly and Bill, Pat Rodegast and my parents at my table.
Their energy turned into a circle of golden penetrating light embracing
me, encircling me. I felt the pure freedom of aligning myself with the
source of who I am. It has never been clearer: I can live freely, or I
can create my own prison. I create my own prison by blaming the
situation, the person, or the circumstance outside of me. I have
learned (and experienced in these months) that if I take the time to
examine the circumstance and then take the time to examine the thought
that creates the circumstance, I automatically can walk through another
portal into freedom.
I sat at my
table and slowly looked into the eyes of each of my guests.
I realized
that my parents, my husbands and Pat had agreed while in spirit to be
with me in this lifetime and to guide me in rekindling my inner light.
How
grateful, how accepting and how loving I felt.
I felt this
incredible feeling of connection of oneness flowing through me.
In this
moment the veil of illusion was gone and I felt the reality of my life.
Please do
this exercise and ask your Guides for help as you explore the answer to
your problem:
Who would
you invite to your table?
What was the
challenge each person/problem seated at your table presented to you?
Will you
accept your part and their part in creating your wounding?
This is the
moment of "RESURRECTION" and being reborn into your own light.
Now is the
time for you to remember who you are.
Now is the
time to wake up and walk into the promised land.
"Wisdom tells me I am nothing.
Love tells me I am everything.
Between
the two, my life flows."
~ N.Maharaji
I love you,
and am grateful for your presence in my life.
Wishing You
A Conscious Easter & Passover,
Barbara
Life is what we embrace it
to be.
That
is what we are here to remember.
I
have chosen this body, this physical life to
learn
about fear,
and
transform it into love.
The
sooner we claim our bodies as vessels for G-d
we
leave the illusion of separation.
--
Barbara Azzara
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