This month I will be celebrating my 85th birthday while I am teaching in Brazil. Something new and exciting is happening and there are many changes.
I found this poem that I had written ten years ago while attending a Retreat with David Whyte.
I called the poem "Apprenticing Myself to Silence."
These are the last lines:
"I walked until my poem was finished.
I walked until there were no more words...
I walked until my mind was empty.
I walked until there was only silence
And then, I sat in that exquisite stillness
Hearing something that can only be heard in the silence.
My spirit rose, my heart opened and I knew
I still had another poem to write."
I still have another poem to write... I still have another chapter to live.
My intention is to sell my home and to move to Florida.
My intent is to really become a vessel for G-d's love and to teach from this point of view.
Before writing this, I had just completed a session with one of my most committed students. (L.M.)
We said the 12 Step Prayer in closing.
I have been studying prayers lately. I am amazed at how meaningful
and simply healing each one is. I have immersed myself in them.
They each, in their own words, have the words and tools for healing.
The Prayer of St. Francis
The Lord's Prayer
The Twenty Third Psalm
The Twelve Step Prayer.
"Prayer is an opened ended letter of self remembering."
"Prayer is man's intent to face himself with self awareness."
~ The Guide
Today, I offer you this prayer (12 Step):
"G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
These thoughts will assist transformation: acceptance, the willingness to let go of the belief in our wounding, the consciousness to let go of our addictive behavior and to remember that we are G-d enough. (We are created in his image.)
I have created a simple path to freedom and G-d. I call it the
Three Realms to Transcendence ©
In the 1st Realm we have our wounding, our reaction to the wounding, our addictive behavior and defenses, our judgments, our negative unconscious, negative intention and our self-denial.
We can label it our lower self, our shadow self, our unconscious self: this Realm holds our resentment, our anger, our hatred, jealousy, victimhood, blame, shame, our demands, judgments and our lack of self-responsibility. In this Realm is our disempowerment and self-denial.
The 2nd Realm holds our desire to accept all of ourself, to take responsibility for our feelings and the willingness to choose between love and fear. This Realm takes a commitment to act from the thought that "I am no longer powerless over my thoughts and acts."
In this Realm is the choice for change. This Realm demands that you be a witness to your emotional reactions, and take responsibility for your part of the creation.
"If thou attend to thyself and G-d, thou will be little moved by what is perceived outside of thee." ~Kemper
This Realm holds the willingness to accept that what I am judging in you, I am also attempting to stamp out in myself. Only in this Realm can we take the action to unconditionally love ourselves and others. This Realm holds our longing to accept and forgive.
This Realm holds the conscious longing to surrender one's own will to G-d's will, and to remember that we are all vessels for G-d's love and light.
In this Realm is the active choice for having the "courage to change the things I can change, and to have the wisdom to know the difference."
This Realm requires authenticity and faith.
In this Realm we are free of the EGO's noisy chatter, or as some call it the "Barking Dogs" or "Monkey Mind" -- the 12 Step Program refers to it as the "Committee". In this Realm we find ourself accepting what is. In this Realm... in this space we know there is nothing to be afraid of. In this Realm we act from our faith, and the remembering that we are all One created in G-d's image. In this Realm we experience that the universe will always support our authenticity and integrity.
"Love is the unconditional embracing of you in this moment of your life. It is you loving you without judgment of any kind. You are perfect as you are in this moment. You are vast, and in choosing love you are unlimited. This is the love of which I speak." ~Emmanuel
You cannot give this kind of "unconditional" love unless you first give it to yourself. This is why you cannot go from the 1st Realm directly to the 3rd Realm. You must release your addictive thinking, your defensive behavior and your need to receive your happiness from someone outside of yourself. What I call "Special Love" is your need, demand or requirement that someone other than yourself be responsible for your happiness and well being. (Waiting to fall in love with someone who makes you feel "SPECIAL" ACCORDING TO THE NEEDS THAT YOUR FEARS DICTATES.) To unconditionally love you must give up your childish expectations and vocabulary of self-castigation.
I offer you this prayer;
Protect me as I walk through the dark hallways of my mind.
Please release me from hearing and reacting to the voices of fear.
I offer you my addictive and defensive behavior,
my fear of loss and my fear of living my life.
Please heal my thoughts that no longer serve me.
Today I surrender my will to you, and ask to receive your blessings.
Today I will choose to live my life fully.
Let us light up the world, one by one, by igniting our inner flame.
Barbara Azzara (aka Glabman-Cohen)