June 2019

Dear One,

A dear friend gave me, for my 86th birthday, the book:
Nearing 90 and Other Comedies of Late Life by Judith Viorst.

I remember the first book I was given written by this author:
It's Hard to Be Hip Over 30 and Other Tragedies of Married Life.

Each book contained a message for me. There are so many memories. Where did the time go? Now there is another chapter to consciously enter into.

"Coming to terms with not feeling thrilled about dying.
Watching over the people I love.
(Grateful they're watching over me as well)
Enjoying whatever there is to enjoy until that final,
time's up closing bell.
And hoping -- just a reminder -- that I'll be remembered."

Moving to Florida, and starting a new life has brought many questions: How do I see this life? What is important to me?

I remember seeing a quote by Michael Jordan:
"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game."

and another quote from Mary Oliver:
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Both are essential since they express the way I have lived my life.

I want to live this precious life breath by breath, challenge by challenge, diving into the pain, feeling it all, and accepting that by going through the necessary losses, I will choose love instead of fear, and become the creator of my life rather than the victim.
I look back at my life... and I am grateful for the choices I have made. I remember with great gratitude that this is not a random universe, and I am held safely in G-d's arms.

I love this poem by Terri St. Cloud

"My eyes close and I can feel "IT" --
pulling my soul back to where it longs to be.
I can hear "IT" -- over and over telling me to open to "IT"
still the fear tugs until the struggle becomes too much.
And then, once again, I release into "IT,
I brush the fingertips of G-d."

Join with me in this prayer:

Dear G-d,
My intention is to be with you,
Help me to let go of the fear that is a toxic habit,
and be the being that serves you with an opened heart.
May I be the paint brush that creates a canvas of love.

Barbara Azzara (AKA Glabman-Cohen)

Please listen to the song: