Good Morning, Dear One,
I can barely attest to what has happened to me in the year 2020. I felt very disconnected. I was in lock down. I was basically alone except for my Angel Laura who was/is my contact with the outer world.
For me, this was a year of self discovery, and deep examination. It was a year of no blame, no shame, of letting go of anger (and many illusions) and my belief that
I was a victim and powerless. I gave up my attachment to "attachment." (This was preceded by 40 years of study) What I have experienced was the realization that I had no control. (I developed Vertigo during this time.) I finally saw that the only thing I had control over were the choices that I made when I met each challenge: Love or Fear.
This mind set necessitated being diligent and devoted to becoming aware of my emotional reactions. It was a conscious practice and I had many opportunities.
What and who I am in a relationship became a deep study: "Was I a lover or did I demand that I be loved?"
I realized that my "woundings" originally came from my soul's intention to commit this incarnation to find out where I was not loving. It is as simple as this: all of my woundings were profound teachings (actually, gifts).
I spent this entire year examining my behavior and studying the texts of Emmanuel, the Guide, The 12 Step Program, Jewish Prayers and my relationship to G-d (as I know Him).
What became clear for me and to me, was that my many thoughts,and beliefs had caused me my suffering. I saw, through most of this searching, whenever I had an emotional reaction it was caused by either my "shaming" myself or feeling "guilty" about something I had chosen to do. I was defining myself through the "lens of fear" and my reaction to it. I was the cause of my own suffering. I was refusing to honor my own light. It is a challenge to be present in Self Love.
I see this "Virus", this pandemic, as a time to wake up. We must set our intention to fall in love with ourselves. We must welcome ourselves each morning and set our intention for each new day:
"Here I am again answering the call of love" ... I love the St. Francis prayer.
This is as simple as it gets. The vaccine that will heal this pandemic is to fall in love with yourself. What does this mean: "To Fall in love with yourself? What is it to love unconditionally? What does it mean to bring our light into the darkness?
This is our focus for 2021: We have come to this planet to transform our own inner landscapes, and to remember and love who we are, healing ourselves so that we can bring our light to others.
As Emmanuel has said:
When we bring our light where darkness seems to be we transform ourselves and our planet.
"This is our purpose... this is our work."
I wish you all: A lighted Hanukkah, a Christmas filled with Christ, and a New Year's celebrating the essence of who you are.
To those I have wronged, I ask forgiveness.
To those I have helped, I wish I could have done more.
To those I neglected, I ask for your understanding.
To those who have accepted and loved me,
I sincerely thank you.
I offer this prayer by Marianne Williamson
".... I pray for my brothers, sisters and ( myself.)
May we return to love, May we all be blessed.
May we find our way home, from pain to peace,
From fear to love,
From hell to Heaven.
For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory,
Forever and ever"
Barbara (aka Glabman-Cohen)
*I would like to recommend that you read Emmanuel's Book Two Pat Rodegast